Relationships (Letting Go and Rebuilding)

So I received a topic for today’s blog, but I decided to expand beyond that aspect of relationships.

In relationships both sides of the situation make things difficult. 90% of the time that a relationship doesn’t work is because one person is holding on to the past. Understand that what happens in your past makes you who you are today, but it should not control our future. So here are a few reasons that a lot of my relationships did not work. Hopefully this will help men and women get past the past.

The #1 reason I have is that I am constantly living in the past. In the beginning I was living in the past because of the happiness if had brought me, but in recent relationships I have been living with a more hurtful past. What I’ve learned is that I have to let that go to move forward. Nothing in your past should control your future. And since I plan on marrying very soon well not too soon I gotta meet him first this is something I’m spending a lot of time working on. Women sometimes we let men of our past control our future we gotta let him go!!

Reason #2 is not something I have an issue with doing, I just have an issue of dealing with it. Cheaters!! Plain and simple I don’t care for them. Men and Women do it too often. Women are disrespectful with it. Women will have their sideline dude in their man’s house. BITCH you don’t pay no bills in that mutha fucker! Women will have parties at their homes and have 2 to 3 men that they are sleeping with at the party. That’s some disrespectful shit! Let me make this clear DISRESPECTFUL ASS HOES make it very hard for RESPECTABLE WOMEN like myself. How dare you treat that man like he is nothing to you? If he is nothing to you then why do you deal with him? In my opinion women cheat on the good ones that treat them like the world to deal with Jody who living with his girl and fucking her on the side. Which leads me to these, NO GOOD DISRESPECTFUL ASS MEN, men cheat because they can. Because they see an attractive female and decide that one female isn’t good enough for them. One of my Ex’s told me that the reason he is with his current chick but still be in my text messages is because he has too much of himself invested into her! What kind of line do you think that is? Nigga you not fooling anyone with these lies! Sorry I got off track but men think these lines work because some women are insecure and will accept that! Not Justice Mayrie aka NIQUITA MARIE CALVIN! Not over here.

Another issue in relationships are liars, I’m waiting for a real man to approach me and tell me what he wants. I want him to be like “Look I like you but all I want to do is FUCK” I would respect you more if you did than if you said “You know im trying to be your man” O_o nigga please. Not saying I’d accept it and sleep with you just saying you’d get more respect. Men if you are still involved with the mother of your child don’t say you’re not. Listen your BABY MOMMA GONE TELL US!!! Once she finds out about the new chick, she is going to do everything in her power to get you busted. Just be upfront with us, let us decide if we want to deal with you. I hate for a man to decide my future! Women if you still dealing with your baby daddy and you know he got a new girl you one of those DISRESPECTFUL ASS HOES! Yes you are the mother of his child but he got a new chick.

Ok before I start naming names lets move on lol

Women we have to learn to respect ourselves and not just accept whatever a man gives us. Women there is a way you are supposed to carry yourself. Being half-naked will always lead to that man fucking and leaving. You don’t have to take it back to the 1920’s but leave something for him to wonder about. Another thing stop sleeping with these men on the first day/date! That’s not cute. It makes you look bad. When I was in California we had a saying “5th and Barstow, during PT hours” It just meant it could get it in the middle of a crowded place and we wouldn’t care who watched. NONE of us would really have done that but we said it. Sometimes it gave off the wrong impression about us, with that being sad anyone who knows me knows I will curse you out in a second and my crew is mostly constructed of similar females lol

Women lets stop being such a jealous creature. We are jealous of the next female and what she has that we can’t even look at ourselves and see all the great qualities that we have in ourselves. (This is another feature of myself that I had to get rid of.) I learned over the past 3 years that looking at myself in the mirror can sometimes show you things you don’t want to see. Well ladies with that being said sometimes we need to see the things that we hide from.

Moving on cause a lot of women hit that X in the top right corner of screen lol. Men you have a jealousy trait that is not attractive. Yours is a bit different you tend to be jealous of what a man has. Mostly I see this in the men who are not trying to better themselves. They living in the world where everyone owes them something. Well that dude you hating on went out there and worked for what they has. They HUSTLED and not in the ILLEGAL way. I see this mostly when an educated black man has something going for themselves. How about you get out there and work for it. Nothing good comes to those who rush.

Now that I have the women’s attention back lets talk about the type of men we tend to flock to. The gold diggers always flock to the Ball Players, Rappers, Singers. Yes they will fuck you pay your bills but he definitely not marrying you! He knows what your after, his money, and he knows once the money is gone so are you. The hood chicks tend to flock to the Street Ballers you know the ones that will never leave the hood because that’s where the money is! Those are the men that beat, cheat and abuse you in all kinds of ways. Now let’s get down to the group of men that I want my husband to fall into. That educated man, that wasn’t on the streets, he was in the books and empowering himself to be able to go up against evils that most of our generation is not prepared to handle. I can name a few men in this category but I wont you real women know the type. I mean the OBAMA type of man!  I say a lot that im MARRYING MARCUS MORRIS (If you don’t know who that is google him) Yes he is very very attractive but im not marrying that man I don’t even know him.  I need to know his qualities. He may be a hood nigga with a nice body O_o not going for it. Whats in his head? What are his goals in the future? These are the questions you need to ask them before you lay down with them. I say have at least 4 dates before you even invite him into your home. That’s just me and you don’t have to listen.

Men you have to up your standards as well. Stop going for these women who have no aspiration in life. Ask her what are her goals? Where does she see herself in 5 Years? 10 Years? shit ask them where they see themselves in 1 Year? Most of the younger generation of women aren’t living in the future they are all about right now. Well look if that’s what you want for the rest of your life then hey that’s cool with me just ask yourself if where you are today is that where you want your children to inspire to be? 90% of children inspire to be just like their parents!!

 

Anyways I’ve said my peace hey if anyone knows Marcus Morris tell him holla at your girl! Lets see what the future holds! LOL

Why are we worried about it?

They say that Atlanta, New York and California have the biggest gay communities!

So why is it that in our society people are so judgmental? Why are people so concerned about about someone’s sexual preference?

I have a lot of gay friends so even tho I am not I do not judge them. They are people just like we are. They build relationships, bonds, marry and raise children like we do. Religion wise people say that it’s wrong, but why do you care what they are doing? If you feel that they will go to hell why send yourself to hell for judging?

Our society wants to say we accept others for who they are but we don’t. I know some of the most judgmental people I swear. Living in Chicago these past 6 months I’ve seen some of the most judgmental people. People who are so worried about if their friends are gay! I had a conversation with someone and they were asking if they should ask another associate if she was gay or not? My question is why do you care? Will them being gay change the way you view them? Will it make you not want to hang out with them? If the answer to those 2 questions were yes than maybe you need to look inside yourself. Just because someone is gay doesn’t mean the person you’ve grown to know and love is not there.

In my opinion, I think that people who are “Homophobic” have gay tendencies. I believe they might want to try out some same sex action. The reason they are Homophobic is because they are so ashamed of how they have and others have treated the gay community that they would be labelled as a hypocrite. They feel like being attracted to the same sex is dirty and wrong that they hate the person who is comfortable with themselves.

But I’ll end this on this one last comment. Up until around 40 years maybe less African Americans were labelled as dirty and wrong. That didn’t change who we were character wise. We have always been who we are. There are bad seeds in every group!

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Winter

So today I walked out of my house and thought hell had froze over! It’s not even winter yet and I’m freezing. Normally I don’t even wear anything thank God I brought my hoodie out of the house.

What am I going to do? Im not going to make this winter if it’s not even winter yet and I’m dying!

I really need to go find myself a coat!!! Well I just had to post this because I thought I died when I walked out of the house today!

Life

My life is complicated prior to December 27th, 2011 I was a proud Army Soldier! On that day in 2011 I became a proud veteran. I never knew what that meant until I got out there in the world and put on my big girl panties. I am now living in Chicago, IL. A place where I haven’t lived in 8 years. It’s like starting over in the world. I know or I chose to know very little people here. Sometimes that is a blessing but some times that can be a harsh world.

Wait let me step back because I think I am getting alittle ahead of myself a lot of you don’t even know who I am. Well hell I hardly know who am I so maybe we can figure this out along the way. I will let you in on this I am a 30 year old single female, no kids, hey I barely have a life so I dont need a child to complicate things even more. Those are the basics about me. OH wait there is one detail but I shall keep that for the end.

I moved to Chicago in March of 2012, I lived with my Aunt until August 1st when I moved into my own apartment. I am currently a student at Chicago State University, I am a Music Education major in my Junior Year. Although sometimes I think is this really the major for me? Guess we will see.

I live on the south side of Chicago but you would never know because I never leave my apartment. Sad I know lol Well im living this life by choice I could get out and meet people but that would increase my circle to numbers that I dont know if Im socially ready for.

Although the military scarred me a little socially I met some wonderful friends during the process that helped me in those situations. I love those people more than they know. Even if we speak very little now I still hold them dear to my heart. As you can tell by this video I made right before getting out of the military http://youtu.be/bM3JNWmjJfE (Hopefully that posted right, kind of new to this lol)

I know that this blog has been all over the place but thats mostly because right now in my life im all over the place. But the people in my life that love me know this already and they still choose to love me or tell people that they know me lol

Well with that I am signing off although my birth name is Niquita Marie Calvin right now Im just Justice ( this is my Nom de plume) and at this point in my life I am a letter or shall I say book in the making! Love me or hate me either way im still me