Marriages

“W.I.F.E = We In For Eternity.
H.U.S.B.A.N.D = He Understands Situations Better And Never Disappears.” – This was a post by my little sister Tiff today. It spoke in volumes.

Marriage is something that is suppose to be held with the highest respect. But it seems like people don’t respect it. I read Hebrews 13:4 which states “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” With that being said why is it that so many people don’t respect the bond of marriage?

My sister Tiff posted this the other day “A relationship without Christ .. Is like walking through fire and not expecting to get burned” with out that a relationship with God how do you intend to have a relationship with anyone else.

To me in relationships and marriages people are more concerned with how this person can benefit them. In a world where Basketball Wives, Video Vixens and any other Celebrate are idealized there is no room to be a normal individual.

Men want the “Bad Bitch” and Women want the “Baller”. Today while heading home a young man still in high school sat behind me, he says “Man, if a mess with a Bitch she gotta have that paper. I mean when I say I want those shoes I have them that day”. This baffled me. How in your mind can you think this is what relationship is? Never in my life can I see my grandmother dating anyone like that. But her generation is different from mines or even the young man’s.

These men really need to listen to Bad Bitch by Lupe Fiasco.
Maybe some of the women need to as wellBad Bitch

Also congratulations to my sister Tiff on her engagement to a man who believes more in God and love than how much she benefits him. They benefit and encourage each other.

I am not saying that two people in a relationship should not benefit each other, I’m saying that’s not something you should determine if you have a relationship or not. The guy I am talking to encourages me to get off my lazy butt and get rid of this extra baggage. I encourage him to continue on his journey towards his dreams. We benefit and encourage each other.

They should make you want to sing the lyrics to this song link

Ill leave you with this simple question:

In a society where 75% to 80% of marriages are about money, when can love be found?

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Why do we assume things?

So this past weekend I was watching BLACK INK CREW, the receptionist decided that she liked one of the tattoo artist. So after the fashion shop that 2 other employees walked in she decided to sleep with him. When the previews for the following episode came on at the end it showed him flirting with another female. She seen this and got jealous. So this young lady decided that she needed to have a conversation with him. During this conversation, she decided to tell this man that they were together. The expression on this young mans face was truly priceless. But this happens so often in this society.

Women feel like because have decided to sleep with this young man that makes them automatically in a relationship. I am one of those females. The difference between me and most females is that I tell the dude. “Look Nigga if we fuck you belong to me” end of story and that’s lets him know if you still want to go down this street just know what you are getting yourself into.

Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. How are you in your mind to your friends this is your boyfriend, but you never had that conversation with him? It kills me when a female says ‘Niggas ain’t shit’! How? Here are 3 reasons that we as women 90% of the time do it to ourselves.

Number 1, we meet these men and the next day that is our significant other. Bitch please you don’t even know this man. Every woman is guilty of this at one time or another in their life. I was always told claim your blessings but that man is not your blessing. Take your time and get to know him. I’ve loved my first love since the first day I met him at SUMMEROUR MIDDLE SCHOOL. And I bet you all the money ill ever make in my life he doesn’t even know he was my first love. Mind you we haven’t dated since 1998 and we are still in communication with each other to this day. But I bet his is probably reading this right now thinking “I know Nikki not talking about me?” I said that to say get to know these men. I have never opened my legs for this man! But I know him: his goods, his bad and his ugly.

Number 2, stop sleeping with these men on the first night. I have spoke on this before. Know his last name. Know his family. Damn know how old he is. Since I’ve spoken on this before I won’t say too much. But anytime you sleep with a man and you can’t tell people what the father of your child’s name is, you have an issue get you life boo.

Last but not least, number 3, we don’t have a friendship with someone that we call our mate. In my opinion you must have a healthy friendship to have a healthy relationship. How can you truly love someone and not have a friendship with them? If you ask couples who have been married for 30+ years they will tell you that they married their best FRIEND!

I’ll leave you guys with one story, I have only truly loved 2 men besides my Father, Step Father, Grand Father, Great Grand Father, and my Little Brother. But I have been friends with one for 18 years and the second one for 8 years. Before you go around giving these men the world know them first.

Just to clarify I have cried over many men but only two have truly held the key to my heart. Ladies be selective.

Going Natural , Busting it open day 1 and the 90 day rule, Education and more

Hello to the few followers that I have glad you guys decided to come back. Well its been about 3 weeks so this blog will be a little lengthy, I apologize in advance. Links for any product videos and more that I speak on in this blog will be at the end of the blog

The first thing I want to talk about is this Natural vs Relaxed hair. OK in my opinion I feel Natural is better (Although I am not natural, my hair funny) lol I would love to not get a perm but when my hair get to getting that Tia and Tamara curly I straight hit up Motions with the quick fix. I have learned that it is easier for me if I wear weave and let it grow to the point of ponytail status to keep the natural look longer. Thanks to the best GMA in the world I now own a pair of the best flat irons known to man CHI!!! Two of my Best Friends have been trying to get me to go Natural so guess what I’m going to give this one more shot!! If this doesn’t work Shentera and Dionne you guys must never speak to me on going Natural again lol I have been doing some research and I think that my hair type is more likely 3C or 4A we shall she soon. I have not had a perm since I got that bogus cut which was may so no perm in 5 months that’s good for me lol. Been doing some research (Youtube LOL) found a video of products for my hair and I’m sure Dionne will help me find more products. Wish me luck. 

OK my next two topics go together in a way. Busting it open too fast and the 90 day rule. OK I do feel there is a too early moment of busting it open… wait wait wait let me be more specific WOMEN there is a moment in time where it was too early for you to have sex with that man. Don’t get me wrong men are hoes too but as much as we would like to not admit it there is a double standard. I have a lot of male friends who are HOES, and when they tell me that they slept with a chick on the first night my first thought is “SHE A HOE” I know I know its wrong but that’s just the way it goes sometimes. I also feel like there is not time limit on when you will give up the Nunny! 90 days 45 days 22.5 days 11 days or if you really that chick 365 days. Look when it happens it happens. Lets just say it like this I feel like its too early if you don’t even know his name END OF STORY POINT BLANK PERIOD moving on.

 OK my next topic is Education. This is a big one for me I don’t know why but for some reason I am attracted to a man with an education. Its just something about him. And I’m not talking high school education I’m talking about BA, Masters, PHD that is just a wonderful thing. Sooooo with that being said is it far that I don’t give a man a chance 90% of the time if he doesn’t have his degree? Umm no because come May 2013 I will have my BA and be working towards my Masters in Education. Now if the man is in school like myself he might have a chance. With that being said part I must said this NOT EVERY MAN IS THE LAST DUDE YOU DEALT WITH meaning just because the last man FUCKED you over doesn’t mean the next one will so be willing to give him a chance (thats my 10% of men with out an education). I will say this if a man is not University educated doesn’t mean he is stupid. The one guy that I can think of at the moment who would be an example of that is Wale. He dropped out of college but he is very educated.Just to give you something to think about.

and NEXT giving someone a chance after you have been hurt. This is a hard thing for me to do, being that in the past 3 years I have had a few men tear my esteem apart. That forced me to not want to give a man a chance. It has gotta so bad that when me try and talk to me I really ignore 99% of the things coming out of there mouth and say “I’m good” and “No Thank You”. Later I think what if I had given him the chance would he be the one for me? My mother tells me “That just means that GOD was showing you that he wasn’t worth your time” This may be true but I cant forever live in my past. So if you are living in your past maybe think outside of the box. I think maybe what I thought was my type isn’t what I need. My sister Courtney put a status up on Facebook yesterday saying that she found her soulmate in someone that wasn’t her type. I feel she found her soulmate because she step outside of her comfort zone and took a leap towards faith. Her relationship with her husband has me dying laughing at times because they can both be silly as ever. Nothing against her relationship but this is not always the case. I have a really close friend/sister who is going through a separation right now and I would have never thought that they would not make it. The love that I seen between the two of them from day one of me meeting them was the love that I was looking forward to having with my husband someday. Sad to see such a wonderful love go on a downward spiral. ( I pray she doesn’t get upset with me saying that I love her and her family and would never want her to think otherwise. It just shocked me to hear about the troubles that they were having or shall I say had)

Moving past that sad topic (lonely yes I am lol) on to much brighter topic to me fashion lol there are a few products and sites that I would like to talk about. First up is my makeup obsession. First for foundation I have two products that I swear by Lancome Teint Idole Ultra 24H and Clinique Stay Matte Oil Free 11 Honey. They both are wonderful for giving you the natural look almost no make up look. Next I use anything on my eyes but Keyshia Kaoir has a line of shadow that seems to work well with blending. Also Mary K has a great line of shadows!!! Concealers I hate to say this and everyone knows I hate to say it but M.A.C has a great concealer works wonders UGH i’m going to be so upset when I run out and am forced to give M.A.C some of my money. I am not a Blush person so I can’t give you input on that. Lips my favorite part lol of course Keyshia Kaoir everyone knows I love her lipstick and now the Glitzsticks to help enhance the pop of the colors that she already has. I also love Lancome’s colors the brightness of it does something to my soul lol. Moving on to accessories I love Lena and her Sleeve Jewelry LOVE LOVE LOVE her. Also the site Little Black Bag is great for accessories of all kinds (Thanks Caridad the the suggestion). Next clothing, I have a few friends who are actually doing big things in the fashion industry. First my long time friend Candi Pye and her line are doing big things at EnvyATL, Terry Barnes and his CALI line (IDK why but hey im a Cali girl now who would have thought Lol), Terrance Ball and his tballtee’s doing big things, Kay The Bag Lady has HOT hand made jewelry. Umm I think thats about it for friends who do fashion. If you are a heavy girl like myself I love TORRID they doing it big for the big girl. Classy and stylish are both in that store LOVE IT.

Ok I think I have talked your heads off enough this week! This is what I get for taking a few weeks off on my blog. Listed below will be the links and websites to go with everything Ive talked about today 

 Natural Hair

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzuDeAS0Yqo&feature=channel&list=UL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVB5Pt2Ehms

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ5TVyZKQZk&feature=related

http://www.farouk.com/CHI-Home/CHI-Air-Flat-Irons/

90 Day Rule

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux2DVjoGGa4&feature=channel&list=UL

Makeup and Fashion

http://www.kaoir.com/index.php#.UIBOBLQk_zI

http://www.tballtees.com

http://www.lancome-usa.com

http://www.maccosmetics.com/index.tmpl

http://www.clinique.com/index.tmpl

http://sleevejewelry.com/index.php/

http://www.kaythebaglady.com

http://www.littleblackbag.com

http://envyatl.com